he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
