OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize