You're so nebulous sometimes
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
