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it's too hot outside to masturbate.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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