Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
