i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
