Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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