East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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