____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
im six kinds of drunk right now
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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