i can't believe i had my finger in that
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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