he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
