Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize