Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
