I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
