So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
