can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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