You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
