Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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