we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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