he thought i was a dude.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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