Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
