How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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