is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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