FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
