yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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