Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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