Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
