I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
