just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
birth control should be required to get into college
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize