The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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