Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
