so explain again why im purple
no
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize