wat bout pragnant strippers??
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
