I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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