My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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