For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
