I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
