That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
