My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
