I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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