I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
No subtext here. People are naked.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
