You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
