I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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