nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
