it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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