and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
