I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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