Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
