who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
