don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
