speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
