I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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