I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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