Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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