i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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