well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize