it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
