she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
