I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
