Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
