Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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