fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This house was built for laser tag.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
