the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
