She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize