its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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