"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
