I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
