Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
