Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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