just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
