Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
