someone threw a dead crab at me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
