Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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