Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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