1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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