Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
