So drunk its hurt
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
