Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
