She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
